this year is no doubt the most matured year i've been.

the best part of hari raya, is when i seek forgiveness from my parents.

when i apologised to my dad, he said some things which really touched me and opened my eyes.

"I never really scold you or shout at you because i know you have responsible brothers to do that. Other than that i admit, i never really like to see you cry so i dont want to take the responsibility of scolding you. I love you the most so i want to see you free and do whatever you want. But i'm glad at this age, you know your limits."

MAJOR TEARJERKER.

and my dad also told me to stop working cos its taking up so much of my time and he doesnt get to see me alot at home. but i said i wanna learn to be independent and be able to support myself and i think he understands that.

And by that time my nose has alrd turned red and i was having a hard time holding back my tears... i was mumbling through my words while apologising to my mum. and i know my mum is so weak, she'd probably cry from seeing me cry. i couldnt even look at her in the eye while the whole thing was happening.

"ma selalu suruh ti buat mcm2 bukannye mak nak bully ti atau ma benci ti. tapi ma cuma nak tgk ti aje. klau tak kerja keluar, klau tak keluar, kerja. abeh klau kat rumah, asik terperap dlm bilik..."

and i dont know, i could tell from her voice that she was stuttering, right at the point where my tears start flowing. and after the whole thing we had a good hug, i went to the kitchen and she went into her room.



that was probably the most meaningful time of my life. and every year, it gets better.