WHAT

mood: worried
music: ziggy marley drive

I WILL DIE. FROM NOW TILL 10TH NOVEMBER. ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL DIE.

so yesterday we had a very VERY serious talk about attachment and project and its scary. cos all along i thought i wanted to do attachments. but suddenly it struck me that i really wanna produce an awesome film with all of us seriously on set and not screwing anything or whatever. and with like a proper budget of $5000 that the school provides.

BUT THATS ONE BLOODY HUGE RISK IM GONNA TAKE.

imagine a whole semester of stress and paperwork and location scout and talent scout and late night shooting and cab fares and transportation for equipments and i dont knowwwww. right now i know i wanna produce marjie's story and apparently i'll be working with her and joshua who's directing and i've barely even talked to him that much at all.

and i've been calling around and we have no cameraperson yet.. or sound person. basically the technical side, no one yet....

NOW HOW.

ORRRR, alternatively. i can just stick to a whole semester of "enriching" yet routinal attachment at some production company they'll throw me to. honestly, i dont mind having to buy coffee for the production team and all but arghh i wanna do something film-related, going from pre through post production and all.

pfft arghhhhhhhhhh.

BUT. come to think of it again, if i wanna remain in singapore and IF i were to think *~WISELY & PRACTICALLY~*, i definitely have to go for attachment! since only then will i gain experience and learn the real stuff and yada yada.

it's been troubling me so badly since ystd that last night i dreamt that i was in the middle of the shoot. and marjie was there. THAT MUST BE A SIGN. I MUST DO PROJECT.

______________________________________

ahhhhh stress la stress. anyway whatever. i think i just typed a whole expository essay haahha. except that i didnt have a conclusion.

and meh many assignments piling now, its quite scary. and i couldnt go to school today cos i kept vomitting and shitting and stupid fever comes and goes bloody hell. and i havent eaten anything the whole day cos i ate a nugget and i had to shit a couple of times so i dont dare eat anything else ): but whatever insyaallah i'll get better by tmr.

NLE: Rough Cut (by next Tues), Final Cut (by next next tues), Presentation on Munich (next next Tues)
Non-Fic prod: Super pitch (start thinking), Digitize tape and transfer to mac so Hong lao shi can see it. Bloody BA advertisement.

And drama prod and film history nothing yet i guess yay.

okay whatever i wanna lie down now bye.