I WANT THIS TO BE THE LAST EMO POST ON MY BLOG WITH REGARDS TO THE MATTER.

this is just so fucking annoying. i know it's all mind over matter. i understand that theory very well. i have it clear in my head that we're never gonna be together again and i'm fucking moving on i know that for sure. but it is this pain; as much as i want to shove it aside and behave as though it doesnt exist, it still does. and it's eating me up so fucking bad. it practically pierces my chest and i'm not kidding.

and holidays are coming next week. which means i have so much time to kill. and i'm not working. which means alot of sitting at home or hanging out. i dont mind the hanging out part i just hate being alone in my room it makes me feel lonesome.

and we start fasting this saturday. i need to eat to be happy for fucks sake. i eat alot of sugar everyday and i believe it helps in keeping me sane. if i cant eat and i cant cry and i cant do anything else, i foresee myself being miserable.

AND NO I AM NOT FUCKING "ACTING ALL SYMPATHETIC", AS I'D LIKE TO QUOTE FROM A VERY WISE INDIVIDUAL.

i blog what i want to blog because this is my blog and i have ownership rights i dont need anyone to empathize with my situation.

to those who tagged or texted or called to meet up.. thank you, i really appreciate it. and if you know me well enough you know i'm not just saying. i really mean it.