i am so tired. tired of maintaining interpersonal relationships tired of all the 'sorting out' conversations.

i wish i could be more ignorant. i wish i could just say "okay whatever rocks your cock. you wanna stay out of my life, you stay out."

fuck la what the hell does the 5 years of friendship/whatever-it-was-that-we-used-to-have mean to you. i thought you knew me well enough to understand the plight i was in.

i really don't know what to say anymore. i dont know what to do. you asked me what difference does it make whether we are on terms or not. fuck you. you know how much you mean in my life. fine ah i admit it was my fault i made you feel so used but seriously, i did not mean it at all. and i really am guilty. YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT WELL ENOUGH.

fuck la why everything so fucked now.