the noisiest silence.

To whom-it-may-concern (you know who you are hahaha),

we haven't been talking much for the past few months. It's not like we're avoiding each other. And we both know that best. You were there for me when I was going through a terrible phase in my life 100 yrs ago (2, actually. hohoho) and I don't think I can ever forget that. But sadly, I went through another one quite recently.

I was quite glad you weren't there, because honestly, you were the cause of it. It's not really your fault. At all. I go through phases and I was feeling very insecure and started questioning myself all the things I never thought of. (DON'T MAKE ME EXPLAIN OR TALK ABOUT IT BCOS I NEVER WILL.) All the things that made life beautiful seemed to have disappeared. I don't know if you brought them along with you when you disappear from my life, but my life has been quite a mess. Not my life lah, just in my brain.

Eeee now I sound cheesy. But I don't care, cos all I wanna do is just lay out all the things I have in mind before I die. It's not like I've been living the most perfect life without you around. I do miss you most of the time and I feel bad for not being able to start a conversation with you. How gay can I get. But to be honest, I don't know. Things got funny between us and now typing this out seems embarrassing. I don't know if this "silent treatment" will carry on for a long time, but I don't really mind honestly. I don't know why. I know for sure it's not because I got sick of you. But I don't know why I like it this way, even if you don't.

Just so you know, nothing's ever changed. I may have changed but you're still one of the most important people in my life. And I like telling people who are important to me, that they are important to me. So you better stfu and get this in your brain. lol.

I CANT BELIEVE I'M DOING THIS SO YOU BETTER SHUT UP AND NOT EMBARRASS ME FURTHER. DONT TALK TO ME. DON'T EVEN TAG MY TAGBOARD.

I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU. I have chosen a few of the most wonderful songs and made a mixtape. This is the first time I'm doing a mixtape. You must put it on repeat for at least 2 weeks! Hahaha tuhan nampak!!

Oops I'm gonna e-mail it to you hohoho XD

Love,
fat.

EDIT: Ehh alamak, the file too big so uploading might take some time. heh sorry arh.